A Context for Healing – Part 1

The conventional context for healing is simple: we have a wound, the wound is treated, when the wound no longer exists we say we are healed. It’s a “binary” view: we’re either whole or we’re not. And that “wholeness” looks more or less the same on everyone.

But while this context may work well for a simple, physical injury, it’s inadequate for the kind of healing we undertake for our greater wholeness as individuals: our emotional healing, the healing of the “self,” the healing associated with our fears and “wounded” beliefs.

Growing into our wholeness

This more profound and complex personal healing seldom follows a clear and common course. It doesn’t have distinct beginnings and endings. In fact, often we must attain a degree of personal strength and wholeness before we can even become aware of areas where we need healing. So, this healing is foundational.

ndeed, as we’ve probably already experienced, our personal healing typically occurs in layers: so that we may achieve an initial level of wholeness, only to discover some time later that healing is needed at a deeper level. And – often to our consternation – there may be many such layers. For this kind of healing, therefore, wholeness is less a destination than a continuing progress along a spectrum of increasing wholeness. Our healing and our growth move together.

Indeed, for this kind of profound healing, where we are wounded is not so much where we are damaged, but where we have chosen to grow stronger. And this is the more accurate context for our life healing.

Not a flaw, but a promise of strength

Let’s make this context and distinction clear. Where we are wounded, where we are challenged in this life, is not where we are flawed or deficient or broken but where our spirit has particularly chosen to develop a deeper strength, a stronger understanding, and a truly profound wholeness.

This is not to say that we won’t feel the limitation – even frustration and distress – as part of this “wounding.” But our wound or limitation is not intended as a punishment. Nor should we feel weak, discouraged, ashamed, or less than whole because others happen not to be challenged in this area.

Let’s see this dynamic in action.

Rediscovering our strength

Few, if any, of us enjoyed “perfect” childhoods, where every aspect of our nature and expression was understood and embraced. Few of us escaped our developmental years without some level of “personal” trauma that challenges us in our later lives.

And looking back, we might say if only we had had a healthier foundation – more support, more safety, more love – we would not now struggle so much with our confidence, with our self-image, with our relationships, with experiencing joy.

But, for better or worse in this life, certain aspects of our nature and certain fundamental strengths will be challenged in us … even through our earliest and most tender years. These critical strengths may be poorly modeled for us during our youth, they may go unfed and unaffirmed, they may be devalued or even attacked.

And while these experiences are unpleasant and seem harsh and unfair, they do force us to rediscover these strengths for ourselves. To the extent that certain of our needs are left unmet early on, we will learn all the sooner our own power to meet these needs. To the extent that we were not “seen,” we will look deeper and grow to see ourselves and our worth very clearly and profoundly. And this power and clarity are most valuable.

If we can appreciate these early “setbacks” as our paths to this power, we will heal far sooner and with far less distress. If we can treat our areas of wounding and limitation with patience and understanding – with compassion rather than self-ridicule – we will realize the promise of this greater strength.

Our challenges are unique. Comparisons do not apply.

Let’s consider a somewhat different example. Let’s consider the person with a physical disability: someone, for instance, who has difficulty walking. Certainly we would never compare this person to an able-bodied individual, and say he is weak or should be embarrassed because he can’t keep up. This disabled person has his own very particular challenge and his own unique spectrum of wholeness.

Likewise, our wholeness and our efforts and progress should never be compared to another’s. This takes some discipline on our part as our culture tends to “simplify” and reduce life into common standards and comparisons. It’s the “binary” view again: we are skilled or unskilled; we are strong or weak; we win or we lose.

Again, this is an inadequate and inaccurate view. Each of us is playing in a different arena. We are each “competing” for a different prize. There is no competition for who you are. Comparisons simply have no place here.

In A Context for Healing – Part 2, we’ll discuss how honoring our healing process leads directly to our wholeness.

For a full list of audio meditations to complement this article, click audio meditations home.

For a full list of audio meditations to complement this article, click audio meditations home.

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